Show up.

Pay attention.

Be positive.

Control your emotions.

Maybe yours are different, but pretty much everything flows downstream from the fundamentals.

If you played high school sports, you probably know who he is.

Not the most talented. Not the most skilled. Maybe he barely even made the roster. He didn’t get much playing time. He wasn’t in the highlight reels.

But he showed up every day. Reliable. Hardworking. Positive. You didn’t need him around for the skills, you needed him around simply because he was that guy.

Turns out that can be you.

If we depend on outside forces to find wonder and awe, we’re going to end up disappointed. Seth Godin

If you’re not careful, a bulk of the parenting experience will revert to the mean.

The highs are high. The adrenaline of those first few weeks. The first steps and words. Vacations and dance recitals and little league championship games.

But what about the rest? The Tuesday morning before school. Another trip to the park. Another bath. Another afternoon scrambling between stuff.

Don’t wait for the wonder and awe.

Any given moment, right now, this second, feels like the most important time in our lives.

In some ways, it’s true. The present is all that’s guaranteed. It only happens once. It’s fleeting.

But our recency bias is also funny.

You know those harsh, awkward phases in high school? The ones you cringe to remember and want to forget? Just think…those moments were the most important times of your life back then.

We laugh now. High school moments that felt so epically life or death? Really?

There’s a parenting lesson cooked in here somewhere. Don’t miss the present. It’s important. It’s all we have right now. But don’t forget, you’ve felt that recency bias before. The pressure of now may look pretty funny in the future.

You know the friend, right?

The one in the group who is always positive. The one who gets excited about everyone else’s accomplishments. Who jumps out of their seat to greet a newcomer. The one who doesn’t complain about the long wait for a table. Or let the so-so service ruin the meal.

They bring an energy that everyone likes. Not annoying. Not fake. You can just sense it.

Your family needs you to be that friend.

Where {x} = something good and where {y} = something good.

Good things happen when you do the {x} stuff. Is it magic? No. But {y} happening is so reliable that it kind of feels like magic.

Deep down, you know what {x} is. Simplify the chaos and consistently do {x} every day or week or month.

Good things like {y} will happen.

They pop up everywhere if you let them.

Hurry for the sake of hurrying. Finishing this so we can start that. Getting home so we can get home. Leaving the house so we can leave the house.

Turns out, the leisurely walk can go longer if you let it. Sit in the dirt. Stand on a bench. Smell flowers. Pick up rocks. Tinker with the fire hydrant. Grab sticks.

When you’ve got nowhere to be, just be.

Everything you do kinda matters now. They’re watching you. Your undivided attention matters. They learn and remember terrifyingly fast.

But…you’re not perfect, so don’t make perfection the standard. That’s exhausting.

But…at least start by recognizing that everything you do kinda matters now. Then work backward.

That thing you need to do can probably wait a bit.

The thing that generates responses like I’ll be right there! and As soon as I’m finished! and Just need to take care of something!

There are exceptions. Stuff has to get done. Work matters. Life happens. But when you stop and actually examine the circumstances, chances are the thing you need to do can probably wait a bit.

Just about one year ago, the big arched ladder was conquered. She didn’t even need me.

And just this week…..the bigger, curvier, trickier, more dangerous ladder elicited a loud a you didn’t even me to help!

That list of you didn’t even need me items keeps getting longer. Fast.